Thursday, June 16, 2011

MiLB Stadium Metrics: Judge Not Lest...Wait, No. We're Totally Judging.

My friends Ben, JC, Joe, and I have put together a preliminary list of metrics by which we will be judging all the Minor League parks Ben and I visit. If you have additional metric ideas, please post them in comments. If you want to criticize any of the existing metrics, please post your comments here.

Because I can't figure out how to post a good table here, I've placed our grading sheets in a public Google doc available here. This table will also constantly be updated with our thoughts on each individual park. The metrics themselves are as follows:

Price of Beer
0-10 points: 1 point per $1 below $10. All prices adjusted for least expensive 16 fl oz

Most Caloric Concession Item
0-10 points: 1 point per 200 calories (if I can get my full DVA in one food item, that's 10 points). Estimates based on ballpark staff or our own best guesses.

Minor League Personalities
0-10 points: 1 point per personality spotted; 2 bonus points for all 8. The Personalities are linked to in the first blog post.

Willingness to Give Random Bloggers Free Seats
0-10 points: 1 point per 10% discount we receive.

0-10 points: Largely (read: entirely) subjective based on sophistication of tailgating activities and locals' baseball knowledge.

Funniest Roster Name
0-10 points: John Smith? That's 0. Dick Wood? I'd say that's a 7. Rusty Venture? Yeah, there's your 10.

Promotion Quality
0-10 points: Entirely subjective, but points will be given for value of promotion, cleverness, and vitriol.

0-10 points: 1 point per 10% of the crowd that is non-white

Men's Room
0-10 points: 1 point for every urinal under 10. I wanna pee in a trough!

Random Bonus Points!
At Our Discretion


  1. The price beer metric is a little off, isn't it? Seems like it'd be impossible to get a 10. Unless there are stadiums that just give away beer?

  2. Very astute, shyaamward. Counterpoint: you don't deserve a perfect score for beer prices unless I'm getting free beer hurled at me. Preferably from an air cannon.

  3. No points for promotions? Peoria's Lebron night deserves some recognition.

    Also to be clear, you're judging partially based on size of bribe received? Because I don't want to start with the the false assumption that you have ethics.

  4. Fair enough, Andy. We shall add a category for promotions.

    And yes, we're very clear on that point. Actually, I'm making that category worth 100 points just to make sure there's no confusion about how heavily I value bribes.

  5. 50 bonus point if the person you solicit a bribe from knowingly says "it's a ring toss game"