Saturday, July 2, 2011

Day 15. Kane County Cougars, Kane County IL. Classic Chicago Cuisine and Baseball at Comic-Con

Well, we saw our 3rd KC team this evening. It was even a Royals affiliate, and their logo was so similar (though green) that we can only assume that the Royals sought out Kane County simply because of their initials.

But before that, I got introduced to Chicago’s famous Harold’s Chicken. Fried Chicken fresh from the pot with Mild and Hot Sauce and salt and pepper does a number on one’s sinuses. Paying for it across bulletproof glass just added flavor to the meal.

Subsequently we did laundry, but you aren’t reading this blog to hear about things you can do in your own home, so imagine that it was super-amazing laundry with laser guns and dinosaurs and giant ape statues.

The game, though, involved none of those things.


1. Harry Potter Theme Night: You gotta love a promotion that makes kids come to a ballgame in early July wearing long sleeves and scarves. Lots of trivia and costumed youngsters. 3 adults in costume, but I’m pretty sure they were under contract be either the stadium or Warner Bros. Even better, they had a picture of Voldemort up on the video screen during visitor at bats.

2. We got to see our first ejection. Growing up with Bobby Cox, 14 days sans ejection seemed like an eternity.

3. During the ejection, we were treated to videos of Star Trek, Austin Powers, and A League of Their Own. There is no crying in baseball.

4. After the ejection, we heard the Barney song. I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family…

5. Parachuters. They came down during the national anthem, and most of them landed within the confines of the ballpark. Not all of them, though, as at least one found himself in the woods over the left field fence. We were informed an inning later that he safely made it to the ground. Duh! Was he ok after he hit the ground?

6. National Anthem. Sung by a teenage girl who not only forgot the words but is clearly unfamiliar with the concept of a secondary dominant chord. Imagine the “ly” syllable in “dawn’s early light” being a half step lower.

7. A 1-run game to the end. After the recent blowouts, rainouts, etc., this one was in doubt up until the last pitch. Attaboys.

8. Jair Jurrjens throws a 1-hit shutout while we watch the game. I know it’s irrelevant to the current proceedings, but it’s a hell of an accomplishment for a classy guy in the only team in the world that really matters.

9. Fireworks! We didn’t get nearly killed, but it was still a solid show, particularly for the middle of nowhere, Illinois low-A baseball.

10. Obama gave us a brief message at the end, asking God to bless America. The gentleman next to us asked his fried “That’s Obama, right?” Ben no longer holds the “Most Politically Apathetic” superlative for the trip.

11. Water Balloon Slingshot. They shot water balloons at the crowd using a giant 3-man slingshot. They missed us unfortunately, but, it’s a good idea.

12. 9th inning rally video. Aragorn talking to the men of Gondor before storming the gates of Mordor. This along with the Harry Potter and Star Trek gave the evening a decidedly dorky ambience.

13. We got stamps to prove our age to the beer vendors. A 3 year old behind us was very upset that his dad got a stamp on his hand, but he couldn’t get one. Dad didn’t really know what to tell him.


Beer: 6.7 points

Tailgating: Nothing, but a couple of points for having a trolley from the parking lot to the ticket gate. 2 points

Most Caloric Item: Cheesesteak. 4 points.

Minor League Personalities: Little Leaguers. Families. Teenagers. If Meg counted last night, she counts tonight. 4 points.

Free Seats: BOOOOOOOOO points.

Funniest Roster Name: Guelin Belte had the least pronounceable. Chester Cuthbert had the whitest name we’ve seen thus far. Sugar Ray Marimon is named Sugar Ray. 7 points.

Promotion: Harry Potter is good people 6 points.

Diversity: If you count different houses from Hogwarts, it might add up to a point. 1 point.

Men’s Room: 0 points.

Bonus Points: - 5 for Who Let the Dogs Out. +5 for all the good Ejection material. +3 for the ejection itself. +2 for 2 homeruns. +3 for the parachutes. +1 for the unlucky parachutist. +2 for water balloons. -1 for worst national anthem thus far. +5 for all the inspirational videos. +2 for Fireworks. +1 for toddlers who want to be alcoholics

Total: 47 points. Not bad, though, we are still in post-St. Paul funk. We have even started calling “train” at appropriate times in our daily lives. But the nerd-fest was fun and the game was close. 6.5/10.

Pictures forthcoming after Zach stops killing aliens.

1 comment:

  1. Fuck Harry Potter! Lord of the Rings forever motherfuckers!