We grew suspicious of the Best Western in High Point, NC as
soon as its scale told Zach that he had actually lost weight during this
trip. Has it not been reading this
blog? We have a category specifically
designed to fatten us up!
So we left. In a
similar manner to Day 4’s Burlington trip, we decided to stop briefly in
Charlotte to take in the stadium for the Knights, even though we won’t get the
chance to see a game there. So we headed
straight for Fort Mill, South Carolina (you know, that state that Charlotte is
totally in, too) and found the winner of our Stadium Most Likely to be Invaded
by Saxons award. It looked pretty cool
with a carousel inside and what looked like different colored seats. We weren’t able to get in and poke around,
but it was a neat drive around.
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| Think "Executives of the Round Table" |
Even more grand, however, was the baseball water tower
opposite the parking lot. It just looked
like something a 5-year-old Paul Bunyan would love.
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| And even he would do more damage to the tee than the ball. |
We ate at a nearby Bojangles (pronounced Bo-yan-glaze we
think) which was actually pretty tasty.
Augusta was beckoning, but we needed one more stop in Ridgeway, SC to
see the world’s smallest police station.
It was in use from 1940-1990 and is about the size of a handicap
restroom stall. The new station is next door and about twice as big. It even had a working pay phone to the side
in case someone in need found the station unoccupied. We also saw a very elderly local woman
driving an Escalade. Priorities.
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| You can see about as much of the station as we could. |
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| Zach at his most Brobdingnagian |
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| Not actually much bigger or any less useful than Ben's actual phone. |
At long last we made it back into our home state of Georgia
and the home of the Augusta Masters. Not
being interested in golf that doesn’t hand out orange balls for holes in one,
we headed to the baseball park.
Apparantly, Monday’s game got rained out, so they played a double header
for us, starting the first one 2 hours early at 5.
Highlights
1. The first game of the double header was as empty as… well, as a game that starts two hours earlier than advertised. We’re lucky we checked the website that afternoon. I counted 96 people in the seats at the start of the 3rd inning, so there couldn’t have been more than 150 fans in the park at that point.
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| Here's where we make the joke about this only being friends and family of the players. Except even they didn't show up. |
2. The second game maybe tripled the attendance, but still may compete for the lowest attendance of any park. We could easily hear the home plate umpire call balls and we were all the way down the first base line. The players and umpires could hear about anything said in the crowd.
3. Speaking of which, the field ump really heard it from the first base fans. He blew several calls, including ending one player’s streak of 30 some stolen bases without getting caught. After that inning, he went into right field for a bit instead of repositioning himself at first due to the caustic criticisms coming from the crowd.
4. The primary hecklers were true Greenjackets fans, with season tickets, stat sheets for both teams, the ability to distinguish one masked catcher profile from another from 120 feet, and they had a cowbell. The on-field promoter gave a tour around the field to some kids in between the games and these folks were a stop on said tour. Love the dedication.
5. Like Danville, there was no tron, Jumbo or otherwise. There was a barely readable scrolling marquee in center. This makes the fan club near us that much more impressive.
6. Since it was a double header, both games lasted just 7 innings. Both games ended 2-0 and lasted under 2 hours, so we were done by 9. None of them would have gotten under 2 hours in 9 innings, but getting 2 games done in 4 hours is still impressive.
7. The closest we’ve gotten to realizing Zach’s dream of “Netless Wednesdays” promotions. Nets covered only the 3 sections directly behind home plate and were not very high. Anyone sitting more than 30 feet down a basepath was in danger if they didn’t pay attention.
8. Well not quite anyone. The playground in left field had nets. Boo.
9. At least 3 balls went exactly where we had walked carrying our beer to our seats. This could have been a tragedy if not for our good timing.
10. At the 366 mark on the left-center wall was a sign .366 – Ty Cobb. That’s his career batting average. When we start our own league, we will do the same thing for Mario Mendoza. We’ll let you readers figure out how that will work.
11. Another heckler called the 3rd baseman “Dorn” after an error. Funny to make a Major League reference in the Minors, but it was appropriate.
12. As the Greenjackets tried to rally in the bottom of the 9th 7th of game 2, the park played “Don’t Stop Believin’”. Cue 20 minute argument between Zach and Ben about whether liking the song because of the Sopranos is reason enough to hate someone. I’d recap it, but I don’t think either of us remembers which side we were arguing for.
13. Not much in the way of on-field promotions. Some small games, including one called “Junk in the Trunk” involving shaking balls out of a box on your back.
CRAP Metrics
Beer Prices:
Wow. We didn’t think anything
could top Lynchburg, but it was a Two-fer-Tuesday so we got 2 32 ounce beers
for 8 dollars. That brings the cheapest
16 ounce to $2. 8 points
Most Caloric Concession Item: Nothing remarkable. Probably the beer. 3 points.
Most Amusing Name:
Zack von Rosenberg, Kelby Tomlinson, manager Lipso Nava get Honorable Mention. Jose Cuevas gets the prize, mostly because
Zach thought it was Jose Cuervo. 5
points.
Crowd: While we took
points away from Greensboro for having a small, quiet crowd, the size and
chillness of this crowd was actually a plus.
Knowledgeable fans and good hecklers help a lot too. And they got excited when stuff actually
happened. 7 points
Men’s Restroom: 9
urinals. 1 point.
Mascot: No sign of
one. It’s a shame since the logo could
be somewhat fearsome. Forfeit and no
points.
Promotions: Two games
for the price of one. Two beers for the
price of one. I’m inclined to give this
2 points for symmetry, but let’s bump it up to 5 points.
Random Bonus Points:
Umpire incompetence -1 point.
Fans setting him straight 5 points.
Netlessness 4 points. Ty Cobb recognition 4 points.
Total 42 points.
Overall
Really pretty unremarkable, though mitigated by cool weather
and beer. Bear in mind, again, that our
system really penalizes for a preponderance of urinals and lack of
furries. Wait, that came out wrong. 5.5/10
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