Day 2: Frisco Roughriders. Top Notch Top Gun, Bluelight Beer, and Educating the Youth.

We woke up in Jackson, MS (not Michigan, Ben) and hit the road (by which we mean I-20...just I-20) pretty early for Dallas, TX (still not Michigan, Ben). First we grabbed some biscuits with tomato gravy for breakfast at a local farmer's market. It tasted like a light pizza sauce but I'm sure it was mostly butter, so despite the fruit in the name it was probably as bad for us as everything else we've eaten thus far.

The next moment of any merit happened between Monroe and Shreveport, LA when we sped past a sign noting "In the beginning, God created." Then, for more information we were instructed to dial 1-855-FOR-TRUTH. So naturally we did, and oh baby we were not disappointed. We declined to ask any questions of their spiritual counselors, but we did listen to three pre-recorded explanations from their collection of 10 billboards, including the one we saw. We were cautioned heavily against lust, because lust drags men to hell. No mention of women, though, so finally some good news for them!

We hit Shreveport around lunchtime and we noticed the city has no fewer than 8 Whataburgers, a local-regional burger chain in Texas and elsewhere. We'd never been, and Texans are inordinately proud of this place (not as bad as Californians and In-N-Out, but still), so we hit one for lunch. It was actually quite good! The fries are like McDonald's but crispier, and the burger was reminiscent of a Whopper but with mustard, which added a nice tang. Two out of two Journeymen agree that Texans' pride in Whataburger is, in fact, merited.

On the way out we decided to indulge our inner rebels and check out "Fort Humbug", which is basically a replica of a fake cannon made out of a burned log that the "clever Confederates" used to fool a bunch of "dumb Yankees" into steering clear. It was pretty awesome.

Heh, dumb Yankees. That's a LOG, y'all.

Then we hit the road west again. When we crossed into Texas the first thing we saw was mile marker 632. Well, sheeeeit. And that's not even the whole state.

Then we got into Dallas in the heart of Friday afternoon rush hour. So that was fun. But we made the game well ahead of first pitch for reasons that will become apparent below in our game recap!

Day 1: Mississippi Braves. Pearl, MS. Here's to the Braves of Mississippi!

So, a disclaimer before the main post.  We really enjoyed the game.  Miss Braves put on a good show, have a nice park, and there were at least a few unique highlights.  We actually recommend this park if you’re in the area.  But we’re going to be… unkind toward the state that houses them.  Eh, we’re men rapidly approaching the end of their 20s whose hobby includes counting urinals.  Don’t listen to us.

Scrappiness Ho!  To kick off our 5th adventure in minor league baseball, we got up, got dressed, got a stop sign ticket, got breakfast, got on the highway and headed west, young man.  Our end goal being the Mississippi Braves Jacksonville Suns game in Pearl, MS.  To fill up the time, we avoided Birmingham (more on that at the end of the trip) and embraced our pagan side by paying tribute to the Sibyl Temple in Vestavia Hills, AL.  Apparently an old Birmingham mayor was obsessed with Roman architecture and built his estate like a grand Roman temple.  All that remains is this temple to a sibyl, a prophetic priestess, the most famous of whom foolishly wished for immortality, but not eternal youth.

"Sibyl, what do you want?"  "I wish to die."

Zach's best impression of a Vestal Virgin

Our Alabama adventures concluded in Tuscaloosa, where we found what was recommended to be an excellent backwoods rib joint: Dreamland.  There were signed dollar bills all over the place, it was facing a set of mobile homes on one front and a church on the other, and it rather famously sold ribs and not much else, all signs of a winner.  It had great sauce and the sides were tasty, but the ribs themselves were… whelming.  For a place that had so much character, we kinda had better expectations for the food.  Oh well…

We entered Mississippi with a thunk.  Because the road quality from Alabama to Mississippi takes quite a dive, literally.

And they have cities named "Chunky".  No joke needed.

As for our experience in the ironically named Hospitality State, we felt it could be summed up only in 1960’s rebel ballad format.

Here’s to the drivers of Mississippi
You sit still on the highway when we want our speed to surge
Amidst all the construction you never want to merge
You and all your fellows should in one place converge
So all that’s good and beautiful can from your sins be purged

Here’s to the vending machines of Mississippi
Your candy bars should not be melted before they’re in my mouth
You should know air conditioning because you’re in the South
And furthermore your Pepsi makes us want to just drive out(h)
And because this is a baseball blog, I’ll mention Nate McLouth

Here’s to the forests of Mississippi
You advertise a scenic route with vistas, views, and more
Your streets are oddly labeled and make our tires sore
You’re filled up more with farms than with the nature we adore
We gave you half an hour, but you gave us a chore

Here’s to the minigolf of Mississippi
You open in the evening and only have white balls
The holes are all aloft so the putting never falls
And sometimes there are two holes inside the lowered walls
This was so unconventional.  How do you have the gall?

Here’s to the blog you’ve torn out the heart of
Mississippi find yourself another journey to be part of

Measure twice, cut once.  Or in Mississippi, put holes wherever you want. 

It was even hard to get directions around Jackson, because Google always wanted to give us the locations and weather of Jackson, Michigan.  As if it was saying, "You don't really mean Mississippi, do you?"  But enough whining.  After checking into a hotel in Jackson, we did some errands and headed to the game.

SJ V Intro: Go West, Scrappy Journeymen

It's 8 million degrees outside and Ben has entered his annual childless phase, so it's as good a time as any for our 5th annual MiLB roadtrip.

Our original plan was to go exotic and drive down to MEH-HEE-CO, but once we realized we couldn't actually speed from the border to Mexico City in a Corolla without stopping for gas in the middle of cartel territory we decided to just drive west instead.

Scheduled highlights include TOP GUN NIGHT in Frisco, Texas; an Albuquerque Isotopes game; seeing the new Independence Day in Roswell, NM; and a college summer league home run derby in Denver (SO SCRAPPY...or because it's only dingers does that make them GLOREE BOYZ?). But of course these highlights are, as usual, subject to change due to journeyman or team incompetence or, like, wildfires.

Also, because we're old and cranky and set in our ways now (GRIZZLED SEASONED VETERANS) we're not planning to change our metrics from last year. We will, however, be adding a Player Tracking feature where we (randomishly) pick a player to keep an eye on in the future since we've accumulated quite a cadre of players who are (not coincidentally) elevated after being featured on this blog (Brandon Poulson, Xander Bogaerts, Mallex Smith, Cheslor Cuthbert, and Socrates Brito). 

Will any team step up and dethrone our favorite stops of St. Paul or Humboldt County, CA? Will we find ANY team as GRITTY as the replacement-level PawSox? Only one way to find out...

Day 10.2: Potomac Nationals, Woodbridge, VA. Buff-a-Rine? Buff-a-YEAH!

***NOTE: Apparently I wrote this and then never published it last year because I am a MOE-RON. So here it is, to whet your whistle ahead of this year's trip, which kicks off Thursday in Pearl, Mississippi***

As noted in our previous post, we tragically had to leave the 35-hit affair at the Bowie Baysox to ensure we made it over to the Potomac Nationals, on the other side of D.C., well before first pitch at 6:05pm. Why so early, you ask? Read on, and ye shall find what ye seeketh.

Day 10.1: Bowie BaySox: Hitting-and-Running, Missing All the Hits

Note: not a minor-league ballpark.

On the last day of our scrappy journey we awoke in the scrappiest of cities: Philadelphia. In order to get a head start on another busy double-header, we encamped at the 'Oliday Inn overlooking Citizens Bank Park, as made famous by It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Sadly, despite an exhaustive search (read: none at all), we were unable to find the secret tunnels leading to the park, and had to settle for driving to Maryland for our first game of the day, in beautiful Booey — I mean, Bowie. It really is pronounced Booey, though.

Don't send us no more letters, no.

We pulled off the highway towards what was purported to be the alternate parking lot, but may as well have been Desolation Row. Almost entirely empty, the weed-strewn gravel lot had an ineffable air of melancholy which — anyway, it was pretty damn desolate.

However, unlike some alternate parking lots we can think of, this one was free and still fairly convenient to the park, by way of a charming wooden footbridge. We purchased our tickets and made our way inside, taking note that Bowie still uses the old-school stub-tearing style of ticket — classy! We scrappy journeyman like to appreciate the little things (David Eckstein, for instance).

Speaking of old-timey class, the centerpiece of Prince George's Stadium was this lovely carousel with a variety of animals, including a rooster. You can make up your own joke about riding the cock, but we are above such crass suggestiveness here. I'll wait... Anyway, it was still a very nice carousel, and it really stood out from the typical kidz zone bouncy castle fare.

Though not as striking as some other parks we saw on this trip, the park sits in a slight depression, with grassy slopes along partially enclosing the park down the baselines. At least for this days game, it didn't look like these were used for seating, but they give the park a pleasantly natural feel.

Unfortunately we had to leave early to make sure we were on time for our second game, so we only saw about five innings, but they were action-packed. The first-base umpire failed to get out of the way of a sharp grounder down the line, and the first baseman corralled it off the ricochet, turning a likely double into a ground out for the home team. About an inning later he would manage to dodge a a very similar hit, but for the visitors, which did not improve his popularity. Meanwhile, Erie's manager got into a shouting match with the home plate umpire over a time out call.

Less humorously, Erie's starter took a hard comebacker in the shoulder and had to leave after two innings. Fortunately he wasn't seriously hurt, but it was a frightening moment. On another play we saw the lead runner in a hit-and-run almost hit by the batted ball. We can only assume the ball was haunted by the vengeful spirits of Baysox past.

In one final oddball play, Bowie shortstop Ozzie Martinez hit a grounder down the third-base line and into left field that managed to roll under a gate and out of play, making this the only ground-rule double grounder I've ever seen. These are the joys of minor league park design.

Little did we know that once we left, the offenses would really get going. The teams combined for 18 runs on 35 hits. When the dust settled, Erie came away with a 10-8 victory.

More Highlights & Lowlights

• Park dimensions: a reasonable healthy 405' to center, but only 309' to the corners. Symmetrical. Only one of those 35 hits was a homer, though, so those short corners weren't responsible for the offense.
• Free programs (entitled "Baysox Baywatch"), with info for all the series on the current homestand. Seems like a smart way to keep printing costs under control.
• Bowie had the only female PA announcer we heard this trip, proving that yes, women are capable of talking into a microphone. Kudos to her for breaking into a very male-dominated niche.
• The home team hitters got walk-up music, which we like, but the third baseman chose some horrible song about dating cheerleaders. Taste like that won't get you to AAA, kid. Everyone knows hitting is 90% song selection, and that song? Well, it's not a hit (admittedly, neither is that pun).

• The Northeast's obsession with dental hygiene continued, as one of the promotions featured Bristle, a strange, cape-wearing, fly-like mascot who maybe has something to do with teeth? Your guess is as good as mine.
• We spotted a "Quiet Night" on Bowie's promotion schedule. Good to see that concept flourishing. 

Scoring

Price of Beer: $8.50 for 24 oz. of the cheap stuff, and a whopping $11 for the same amount for the good stuff. 4.33 points. Craft options included Devil's Backbone Vienna Lager, local to Virginia, which turned out to be quite tasty.

Most Caloric Concession: It's a burger! No, it's a hot dog! Wait, it's both! Despite stopping at Arby's on the way to the game, Zach insisted on tackling this culinary hybrid, which very nearly defeated him. 5/10.
Tailgating: Not really, although given that we parked on the surface of the moon, that's to be expected. The bridge was nice, though. 1/10.
Crowd: A little light for a weekend game, perhaps, but decently engaged. 6/10.
Free Seats: Well... no. 0 points.
Funniest Name: This is lacrosse country, and Bowie's Quincy Latimore is rocking the WASPiest name this side of George Prescott Bush. Honorable mentions to Erie pitchers Confesor Lara and Joe Mantiply. Be fruitful and mantiply. 8/10.
Promotions: Alas, our hasty exit prevented us from fully judging the promotions. It was purportedly both Back to the Future night and National Ice Cream Day. Tragically we did not get free ice cream, and there was still no DeLorean. Admittedly, they could have done something awesome later on and we would have missed it. A tentative 5/10.

Restrooms: A full complement of urinals, but also this stall partition carrying an advertisement for restroom stall partitions? 0 points.

Bonus Points: +1 for free parking on the moon, +1 for footbridge, +1 for ticket stubs, +3 for carousel, +1 for natural amphitheater park shape, +1 for umpire interference, +1 for manager/umpire argument, +2 for grounder-rule double, +1 for more comebacker near-misses, 0 for the one that actually did hit someone and looked pretty painful, +1 for the offensive explosion we missed, +1 for PA woman, +1 for walk-up music, -1 for terrible walk-up music, +1 for Bristle the dental hygiene abomination, +1 for nothing, +1 for beer price differential, +1 for good local beers, +1 for self-advertising restroom partitions.

Total: 47 points on our entirely arbitrary and travel-abbreviated scale. Bowie does a lot right — distinctive park design, some creative concessions, good beer, and at least on paper some clever promotional ideas. Promotion execution seemed a bit lacking, but it's hard to judge from half a game. I'd certainly give them a shot if you find yourself in the DC or Baltimore area. 7/10.

Day 9. Lakewood Blueclaws. Workers that should be Fired and Fires that didn't Work.

Happy 4^th of July!  To celebrate, we drove around New Jersey, the most American of the states, and listened to music written entirely by people not from America.  We took a trip to Atlantic City and despite the nauseating traffic and parking situation (we wound up parking at a hospital) we actually came out on top as a group.

To round out our big America day, we took in a game in Lakewood Township, NJ.  (New Jersey has a lot of townships.)  And the Blueclaws gave us an experience that… well, none of us will forget it for a long time.  Then we left JC in an abandoned movie theater parking lot at 11:25 at night and drove to Philadelphia.  We’re not even joking about that.

Day 8: Trenton Thunder: America, Ameri-cam, and Ameri-OH MY GOD IT'S A BATDOG!

After a long doubleheader and over 3 hours on NYC's subways yesterday, we decided to take it easy today ahead of a short drive to our next stop. We woke up around 11 then headed over to the Lower East Side so our newest cup-of-coffee, our acquaintance Jick, could browse Strand bookstore's 18 miles of books.

Meanwhile, Ben and Zach set off, on Pat's recommendation, in search of a nearby Asian joint called Saigon Market. We weren't expecting what we found - a cavernous, dimly lit sit-down restaurant - but its reasonably-priced lunch special and heapin' helpings were a pleasant surprise. Try the bun xao lunch special if you're there; it tastes kind of like charcoal-grilled or smoked pad thai. Really tasty.

After that we pretty much just headed for Trenton. So let's jump right in to the game!

Day 7, Brooklyn Cyclones, Back to the Future Night Déjà Vu

We awoke on Thursday with two goals: watch some baseball, and stay out of the car for an entire day. To accomplish this, we would need to spend 5 hours on public transit across three boroughs, but such is the way of life in the big city. This also meant we could drink the whole day. After a shot of Malört I brought Zach and Ben over to Skytown, a local bar and restaurant, for a proper Brooklyn-style boozy brunch. Perhaps not surprisingly, we were the only patrons at 11am on a weekday morning. Fortunately they cut us some slack and started happy hour early, so we finished our omelets with a beer-and-shot combo. Then it was off to Queens, via Manhattan, for our MLB interlude at Citi Field, to see my beloved Cubs.

Citi, aside from the product on the field, remains a pretty decent place to see a game, with plenty of food options and several pleasant spots to watch the game if you don't like your seats. This time our upper-deck seats had a tolerable sight line and a pleasant breeze, so we mostly stayed there. Jonathan Herrera and Miguel Montero socked a homer each, Jake Arrieta pitched eight strong innings, and the Cubs cruised to a solid 6-1 victory to finish off a sweep of the Mets. That settled, we made our way to beautiful Coney Island for the day's main event.

After discovering just how many stops there really are on the F train (lots!) we emerged into the bustle and lights of the boardwalk, where it turned out that none of us are any good at carnival games. In particular, we suck at getting a whiffle ball to land gently in a goblet. We contemplated a roller coaster, but at $10 per ride, we settled for a stroll along the beach and back to the park, with a quick stop for another happy hour special at a bar next door.

The competitors in today's game were... wait a minute... the Hudson Valley Renegades and the Brooklyn Cyclones! Hudson Valley liked us so much they followed us to Brooklyn, as the teams played the second game of a strange home-and-home-and-home series. This isn't the NBA finals, guys. Also following us to Brooklyn: artificial turf! MCU Park's turf looked very similar to what we'd seen in Hudson Valley the day before, but with a heavier layer of rubber chips. Whatever they do to it, it seemed a little less lively, and this time the two teams played a relatively clean defensive game with only one error between them.

Check out these zany concourse lights.

Getting up off the turf, Brooklyn's park is visually pretty interesting, with a retro-futuristic vibe, multi-colored concourse lights, and a sweeping view of the rides and attractions at Coney Island. You can see the Thunderbolt coaster immediately out to center in the photo above. The park is slightly asymmetrical and square-ish, with a fairly deep 412' to center, but only 315' to left and 325' to right.

Zach's chili cheese fries.

Concessions were another strong point. You can get a chili dog at most ballparks, but where else can you get a Nathan's chili dog? I was personally thrilled to find Brooklyn's own Arancini Bros. running a stand. If you've never had arancini, they're an Italian innovation consisting of a deep-fried ball of rice stuffed with any number of delicious (often meaty) fillings, and they're delicious. They also used to have a shop in my neighborhood, which unfortunately closed. So naturally I ordered half a dozen.

Alas, one of our other frequent companions on the trip also returned, namely precipitation. It began to rain during the middle innings, gently at first. Unfortunately there was no cover anywhere except for the concourse, which quickly grew crowded with folks taking shelter. Realizing that this was no way to watch the game, we declared our promotional giveaway jerseys "basically ponchos" and determined to ride out the rain in style. Then it got stronger. Trailing 1-0 with delay threatening, the Cyclones mounted a comeback in the bottom of the seventh, scoring two runs to pull ahead. Shortly thereafter we did, indeed, go into delay.

A good chunk of the crowd (perhaps half) called it quits at this point, but we scrappy journeymen laugh in the face of mild weather-related discomfort. Also we were promised fireworks, and we really like fireworks. Fortunately the delay came to and end after a bit less than half an hour, and the teams finished out the game without much in the way of hitting. Final score: 2-1 Brooklyn. Cue fireworks.

More Highlights and Lowlights

• Great moments in ballpark advertising: "Send in the Clowns" on the left, and on the right, a hotel that wants you to know that they accept bitcoins. So, if you were planning to engage in any illegal activity there that you don't want traced, they are 100% down with that, hypothetically.
• Cheerleaders?! I mean... cheerleaders! In keeping with the atmosphere of spectacle and activity the Cyclones have their own dance/cheer squad, the Beach Bums, who performed a few routines between innings.
• On our way in we got free button-down jerseys, in a somewhat throw-back-y design in 100% polyester. They held up decently well, considering, though they were not as effective ponchos as we might have hoped. Zach and Ben were, as loyal Atlantans, appalled to find a large Pepsi logo on the back, but so it goes.
• Programs were also free and fairly substantial, which we always appreciate.
• One of the in-stands vendors showed some creativity, shouting, "Help me pay my bills!"

• There was this thing. The long-unused Coney Island Parachute Jump, a relic of the 1939 World's Fair, sits just a few dozen yards from the park. It constantly changed patterns, among them some seasonally appropriate red-white-and-blues.
• One downside of the carnival atmosphere was that the music playing over the concourse PAs did not stop for the on-field promotions, which made it hard to keep track of what was actually going on.
• While the players and coaches duly dispatched foul balls into the stands, we also spotted one of the first-base coaches throwing packs of gum into the crowd. So, hey, free gum.
• I have a note that just says "maple bacon concoction."
• The winning hit was a fly ball to right center field with the bases loaded. As the first-base runner waited to see if it would be caught, the batter caught up with him, and was called out for passing the runner. We'd never seen this rule actually put to use before. Sort of but not quite a TOOTBLAN, since he wasn't thrown out.
• The game-ending out was a hard line-out, nicely snagged by Cyclones 1B Zach Mathieu, who had come in two innings earlier as a pinch hitter. Way to be a complete player, Zach. Also, kudos for using the correct spelling of "Zach." For that, we won't look too carefully at what you've done with "Matthew."

Because America, that's why!

Scoring

Price of Beer: $7, I think. Possibly due to our spending the rest of the day drinking beforehand, we have no notes on this. Go for anything by Coney Island Brewing. 3 points.

Most Caloric Concession: Whatever it is, I'll bet you can put chili and cheese on it. 5/10.

Tailgating: Not exactly tailgating, but between the boardwalk and having a bar immediately next to the stadium entrance, you could find worse ways to kill time before a game. 5/10.

Crowd: Pretty full stadium, fairly engaged, chanting during appropriate moments, and reasonably willing to wait out a little rain. 8/10.

Free Seats: Eh, whaddayagonnado? 0 points.

Funniest Name: Seeing as we had the exact same rosters as the day before, honorable mentions go to Cade Gotta and ethpethially Tucker Tharp for still having great names. For variety's sake, today's winner is the hilariously-named Cyclones catcher Manuel Hilario. Still worth 7/10.

Promotions: It was Back to the Future Night, which was expressed mainly in the form of jumbotron clips and some moderately challenging BttF trivia rounds between innings.  Also there were fireworks. We love fireworks, and getting free stuff, and we especially love Back to the Future, one of the greatest science fiction movies of the 1980s. I am, however, holding out hope that the next BttF night I see will involve a Delorean on the field, preferably traveling at 88 mph. Even so, 8/10.

Restrooms: Not many restrooms, but a full quota of urinals. 0 points.

Bonus Points: +2 for accessible by public transit, +2 for roller coaster backdrop, +2 for concourse lights and general park styling, +1 for less-terrible turf, +1 for wacky home-and-home scheduling, +2 for authentic Brooklyn cuisines, +1 for sending in the clowns with bitcoins, +2 for cheerleaders, +1 for vendors with character, +2 for garishly bright historic landmark parachute tower, -1 for excessive PA music, +1 for coach throwing gum, +1 for maple bacon something something, +1 for no rain delay until the home team scores, +2 for passing the runner quasi-TOOTBLAN, +1 for pinch-hitter making a sweet play, -1 for the vicissitudes of weather.

Total: 56 points on our completely arbitrary scale, which is in no way rigged, just like that carnival game that all of us were terrible at. In any case, this is a distinctive park that really fits into its setting and embraces the Coney Island atmosphere. The holiday weekend crowd was lively and the promotions were generous. We even saw a pretty good, close baseball game. Now, granted, I was drunk for a lot of it, but I'll call it an 8/10.

Day 6.2: Hudson Valley Renegades. A trip through New Jersey by way of St. Louis

After the New Jersey Jackals, we ate at Moe’s Southwest Grill by the grace of the coupons we’d received from Rockland hitting a home run.  Then we sat at a Starbucks for a couple of hours.  Chances are that most things you’ve read on the blog up to this point were written at the Starbucks in The Shops at Nanuet.

Updated and caffeinated, we doubled back up north a little bit to see the Hudson Valley Renegades in Fishkill, NY.  We hope that name is Dutch.  What we got is one of the most creative promotions we’ve seen this trip and a few examples of what we love most about Minor League Baseball.

Day 6.1: New Jersey Jackals: They're Not Just the Residents, They're Also a Baseball Team

As any of you who have tried this know, getting a car into and out of New York City is a pain in the ass on par with two root canals while being chased by a bear. So while we were only about 30 miles from Pat's place after last night's Rockland Boulders game in Pomona/Ramapo (an ongoing debate), NY, we elected to a get a hotel west of the Hudson ahead of more NYC-area games today.

Our original plan had been to futz around NYC and then drive to the Hudson Valley Renegades for a night game, but now we needed to figure out what to do with a nearly-full day of our newfound outside-NYC time. We consulted our SJIV Scheduling Matrix and noticed a convenient 1105a start for the New Jersey Jackals in Little Falls (not Little Rock, which threw Zach for about 10 minutes...thanks, Ben) an easy 35-minute drive from our hotel. Much better than yesterday's 6-hour grind. So on to the Jackals we went...